Wind kept blowing just the same.

 

 

 

v

La raison d’etre

 

I have to behave, stop smoking

Drinking and despair

I have to sleep, eat well

I have to do everything right.

 

I want to witness the fall

I want to see the end

When rats run on every corner

And invade the White House lawn

And devour the rats inside

When Wall Street is in flames

When sick rise up and the wounded take control

I want to see no more or less

Than what they did to us.

Yes I do want revenge

I have to do everything right

To be here for a party

I am dying to witness the fall.

 

 

Nadja Tesich

New York, 1999

 

 

 

 

A WAR REPORTER-for the first time

 

The buzz of helicopters

Overhead

Day and night

Bringing the dead and the wounded

From the town of Vukovar

A doctor says,’I’ll show you easy ones

They are doing fine.’

Then I see children,eighteen or so

No legs no arms

Healing beautifully yes

Yes they’ll live

They won’t die

Their eyes intact yet dead

Stare ahead

I am glued to their eyes

Dark, blue, hasel,green

Green like grass, like this room

With ceiling fans buzzing

buzzing buzzing

And silence around us

My effort to appear cheerful

Is my downfall. My effort

To be normal my attempt not to cry

Is my downfall

I move toward a wall

I need that wall

It will support me

Doctor leads me away

Faster than me he was

He saw me slide

My eyes shut

He gives me a shot

It doesn’t hurt at all

I howl like a dog

I see their eyes

No legs or arms

My body cries

My vomit is all over the floor.

He says,’you are lucky

You are normal’,he says

‘I can’t cry any more.’ 

 

Later a part of me went

Or was covered up

Or died.

I didn’t cry any more

Like him I became

Life altered us

 

Nadja Tesich.

 

 

 

 

 

Spring Belgrade 99

                        Cherry trees whither
                          and die
                        apples bloom but
                           bear no fruit
                           birds never came
                           tomatoes are black
                            Belgrade, spring 99
                            women aborted early
                           In March
                            those under three months
                            women who wanted that child
                            In June black rain fell
                             two weeks or three
                             day and night
                            destruction everywhere
                            chemical
                            biological yes
                            yes it's true
                            Belgrade,spring99
                            huge red cross sign is intact
                            on a children's hospital
                            a half of  it still stands up
                            mattresses, sheets in the rain
                            a teddy bear, a doll, a pajama top
                            On a tall building, a prize in architecture
                            gutted in the center
                             shattered windows produce
                             an eerie sound, a music of glass
                             when the wind blows.
                               Swastikas all over US embassy
                               US==SS
                               MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
                              WE"LL RISE AGAIN

                               People are dying now
                               young very young
                                fast cancers
                                same as in Bosnia
                                same as GI's
                                Same as Iraq
                                Nothing in the news
                                Another war is on.
                                 Us embassy has a wall
                                 around it now
                                 It has taken over
                                 two more streets

                                Afraid of what?

 

 

 

                            The photo I took
                  It's easy to imagine childbirth
                  Women deliver in pain
                   and pain and more
                   Hours of it
                   women scream, curse
                   and forget later
                   same as me.

                    This one will not forget
                    imagine giving birth
                    bombs falling
                    building trembles
                    light is out
                    water cut
                    and she is young
                    her first delivery
                    then you are hit and the baby
                    at the same time.

                    May she forgive me
                    for the photo I took.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GLOBALISATION


                          In my building
                          a man lost his health
                          job next
                          a wife took off
                          and the son with her.

                          All in six months

                          Unusable
                          Unprofitable
                          burden to all.

                           He disappeared too
                           last week
                          The apartment is for sale.

                           Nobody says nothing
                           not a word
                           as if he had never existed.

                           He was called Vanja
                           He loved his son
                           He played a flute
                           We spoke Russian
                           Two of us.